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Trevor Noah Scratches His Head About Lifting Restrictions In Texas, Other States

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All my infected exes live in Texas. Or so it may be, a panicked Trevor Noah noted tonight, as he lamented the decision by Texas, Mississippi and a handful of other states to life the pandemic restrictions.

“New infections are kicking up,” Noah said, warning that “before new variants do us in,” it is important to mask-up and social distance.

He reserved particular scorn for New York state, which will institute “dance zones” for weddings this spring. The restriction means you can only dance with people from your own wedding table in a specified, socially distant zone.

“Hold up,” said Noah. “If you go to a wedding in New York, you can only dance with your own family in your own dance zone? I’d hate to enforce that rule if I was a wedding DJ. “Too far, too far! Stay in your zone!”

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Noah claimed that Texas is still getting 7,000 new cases of Covid-19 each day, which makes the decision to fully reopen and do away with mask rules puzzling to him.

He suggested that state governors may have adopted a strange take on the children’s fable about the Tortoise and the Hare. Upon reading it, the governors proclaim, “What a great story about a rabbit who took a refreshing nap!


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